A receding hairline.
What do you call a line of rabbits walking backward?
A receding hairline.
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Mr. Snuffy,
Happy Birthday to you.
But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east and Juliet is the sun!
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief
That thou her maid art far more fair than she.
Be not her maid, since she is envious;
Her vestal livery is but sick and green,
And none but fools do wear it. Cast it off.
It is my lady, O, it is my love! (10)
O that she knew she were!
She speaks, yet she says nothing; what of that?
Her eye discourses, I will answer it.
I am too bold: 'tis not to me she speaks.
Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,
Having some business, do entreat her eyes
To twinkle in their spheres till they return.
What if her eyes were there, they in her head?
The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars,
As daylight doth a lamp. Her eyes in heaven (20)
Would through the airy region stream so bright
That birds would sing and think it were not night.
See how she leans her cheek upon her hand
O that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek!
Little ball of fur
Purr, purr, purr
"Learn how to cook -- try new recipes, learn from your mistakes, be fearless and above all have fun."
To celebrate my newest audiobook release I am sharing a small excerpt from the book:
The leather recliner I sat in stopped spinning like it was a fuselage and my face is stretched like putty across my skull. My eyes, which had been forced shut, slowly open as I hear the squeal of small children and popping balloons.
A small baby cries and I am sitting in the corner of a family style restaurant. I stand up, my feet on an alternating color tile floor. Ahead of me is a party and the room is decorated with pink balloons and streamers. There’s a woman with curly hair cradling a small baby in a pink headband. Around them are smiling people, even though the baby is still crying from the popped balloons.
I’m confused and frustrated. Why am I here? Who are these people? Was I invited to the party and if so, why didn’t I bring a present?
Glancing down in my hand I see a flier from Rewind. It's crumpled so I smooth it in my hand and read the words: You will experience temporary short term memory loss. It will return shortly and you have fifteen minutes in the past.
In the past?
I look up at the woman in front of me. Her curly hair that frames her face reminds me of mine. She’s bouncing her daughter on her leg and I realize it’s not a newborn, but an older baby. This might be her birthday, just like it’s mine.
She kisses the baby’s cheek, who I am sure now is me. Mom’s eyes twinkle like stars. “Lara, it’s just a balloon. It’s okay.”
Dad sits next to her and I’m surprised at how young he looks. He laughs as he dances a doll in front of the baby’s chunky arms. The baby giggles and reaches for it.
“You always know what to do,” Mom says.
Dad winks at her. “It’s why you married me.”
“One of the reasons.” Mom agrees and they lean forward to kiss.
Their love radiates around them like a glowing bubble and for a little while I’m inside it. I forget I’m in the past as they cut the cake and the baby smashes it with her fists.
My time is nearly up and I take in the sight of my parents kissing me, laughing with each other. I love the way Dad drapes his arm over Mom’s shoulder and if he could have saved her from dying, he would have.
I’m sorry I will never get to know Mom. I take in one final moment of watching her cuddle the baby and turn away. I smack into the waitress behind me with a tray of drinks.
I squeal in horror and without thinking bend down. There’s water and soda everywhere, splashed all over my sneaker. “I’m so sorry,” I say and help her pick up the broken glass, placing it on her tray.
She mumbles under her breath, “It’s okay,” But it isn’t. I know she’s mad.
A flash of memory hits me from my time at Rewind, “you will be like a hologram, unable to touch or interact with the past, even though they will see you. After you are gone, you will fade from their memory and it will be as if you were never there.”
But, I bumped into the waitress. I picked up the glass. I can interact with the past.
“I can interact with the past,” I whisper as the gears in my mind begin to whirl. I throw a glance over my shoulder at my parents as my world fades to black. In a matter of moments I’ll be back in the present, but the damage is already done. I have a plan forming.
"I don't know how much value I have in this universe, but I do know that I've made a few people happier than they would have been without me, and as long as I know that, I'm as rich as I ever need to be." ~ Robin Williams (as Mork from Ork)
"Well when I'm caught between two evils I generally take the one I've never tried."